letters to you
by you-d0count
Summary: "Promise me you will be happy Molly. There is a very slim chance that we will ever see each other again and I want you to accept that. I need you to accept that. My mind won't rest until you find someone who makes you truly happy, like I could never do. You deserve to be happy, Molly Hopper." letters between Sherlock and Molly during his two years taking down Moriarty's web.
1. January 11th 2014

So I got this idea from watching Loo and Ben doing the letters live event at the weekend, which was frankly adorable, and I couldn't resist writing a fic of Sherlock and Molly writing letters to each other during his fake death. I am not quite sure about the timeline during the third series so to work with my fic I thought of having Sherlock "dying" in November 2012 and him coming back November 2014.

Enjoy!

* * *

_January 11th 2014_

_Molly,_

_I understand that this letter is well over due, one year and two months to be persisted. But the entire concept of writing letters which will may or may not get to you seemed to be at the bottom of the list of many things that I have had to do. But today it felt necessary. I am currently travelling to another European country to take down yet another section of Moriarty's web. Whilst travelling through a small town in the east, very beautiful and peaceful may I add, my mind began to wonder to the thought of London, of John, Mrs Hudson, Lestrade…you. How is he? John? Mycroft wouldn't give me any information about the well-being of you all. He says that it will distract me from the task at hand. I completely understand that. But my mind aches whenever I envision their faces on the day of my funeral. How has it been for you? Having to lie to their faces about my death? I am terribly sorry for putting that pressure on you but I couldn't trust anyone else to do such a daunting task. _

_My sleeping arrangements the last 14 months have been very interesting to say the least. I am either sleeping in the back of the car that Mycroft had arranged for me to travel from place to place or on the stone cold floor of the place that I have been captured. Don't worry I am perfectly fine, apart from a few minor scars and a couple of bruises here and there, but everything else is fine. I am never captured too long as I quite frequently manage to deduct my way out of situation. Works 99% of the time and I manage to stay imprisoned for just a day. However, one time, my deduction of one of the men was completely off, probably from the lack of sleep and the amount of blood I have lost, and unfortunately managed to get me captured for over a month. _

_How has the weather been like back in England? I imagine it has been dreadful with the amount of rain that England is well known for. It has been extremely hot wherever I have been. It is not the right conditions for me to be able to work in, but I have managed to get a suntan, if that does seem as some sort of achievement. I bet you are giggling to yourself imagining me with a suntan. I can ensure you it is not the best thing in the world. I do prefer being the pale man that I am. Even my hair has gone completely insane. It now has become shoulder length and has become too much for me to handle. Some days I find myself putting into a ponytail and making myself look like a teenage girl. It doesn't do the best for my ego but I must go on._

_How was Christmas? It was utterly dull here. Nothing like Christmas at Baker Street. I do miss Mrs Hudson's mince pies and John novelty Christmas jumpers. No doubt it was the same without me there, however I bet you are truly grateful that you didn't have to be a victim to my heartless deductions once again, I am ever so sorry about that night. I did open you present by the way. Before I left. I found it in my bedside table and couldn't stand the thought of not knowing what the box contained. Of course I was speechless, for a change, at the item that rested amongst the red tissue paper. How did you find out about it? I only ever told John about that watch when we were on a case at that exact jewellers. And the fact you had it engraved made it even more breathtaking. Thank you ever so much for such a thoughtful gift. I feel like such a cock for not getting you something meaningful._

_I miss you ever so dearly Molly. I don't understand when I became a victim to the idea of sentiment and caring for other, but these past 14 months have utterly destroyed me. Being alone for so long, not having anyone you care about surround you can drive a man insane. I need you Molly. I need to hold you, to touch you, to speak to you. I need you to make me feel human again. I need you here to tell me that it's okay, to tell me everything that I am going through is all worth it. _

_Promise me you will stay safe Molly. I have a feeling that somehow, someone will find out about your involvement in my fake death and come after you. I have already told Mycroft about my worry and he has promised to place security around your flat. Don't worry too much though. Moriarty's men are not the brightest of people and probably won't find out about your involvement at all._

_Promise me you will be happy Molly. There is a very slim chance that we will ever see each other again and I want you to accept that. I need you to accept that. My mind won't rest until you find someone who makes you truly happy, like I could never do. You deserve to be happy, Molly Hopper. _

_I will try to write more to you but I feel the next few months are going to be the hardest that I will live. Please write back as soon as you can. _

_Sherlock. _


	2. January 18th 2014

Thank you all for reviewing this! Really means a lot to me. So in Molly's letter I added a little bit of context and I may or may not implied that Molly and Sherlock were together for a couple of months in _that way _before leaving. Anyway enjoy!

* * *

_January 18th 2014_

_Sherlock, _

_Words are unable to describe how happy I am that you have written to me. I have been ever so worried about you. I have asked Mycroft about your safety and well-being once or twice but he refused to tell me. He said he was not of authority to disclose that information. This frankly doesn't make sense considering he is the British Government and your brother. I just think that he doesn't trust me. I do admit my heart went 100 miles an hour when I saw your letter on my doormat this morning. I have read and re-read it at least five times to make sure that I am not imagining the words that you wrote. I can just imagine your smooth baritone voice reading them to me in my head. John is doing great; better compared to a year ago. We had lunch just the other day. He told me about his new job, his new house. He even says that he might ask a woman at work on a date. Her name is Mary. She seems delightful. However, he did say that he has gone to see his therapist again; says he been going for a while. Only way he had been able to get through the death of you. My heart ached at the sight of tears shining in his eyes. I felt horrid not being able to tell him that you are still alive. But of course I didn't. _

_I do hope that you are not in too much pain. I dread to imagine the extent of your injuries. I know that you said that they are not that bad, but you tend to lie about those types of things. I hope that you have managed to sleep at some point, even though you don't even sleep that much when you are in London. You left your coat here. I tried to get Mycroft to pick it up and take it away but he informed me that you have lots of coats the exact same and you won't need it any time soon. I sometimes hope, when I get home from work or wake up in the morning, that your coat has gone from its place in the hallway. I know it's strange but it's my way of thinking that you may return to London one day. I do hope that your imprisonments don't prevent you from the task at hand. Try and not deducted to the extent of being the well-known arsehole that you are. _

_So you have a suntan? That seems a very strange concept for a man who hardly takes his coat off, even in summer, to obtain a suntan. It does seem very hard to imagine, I do prefer you with the pale skin that you are so well known for. The weather in London has been of the normal, nothing special. We did have sun in the summer which was lovely but strangely it rained on your birthday. Everyone gathered around your grave to wish you a happy birthday. John and Lestrade said a few words and put down some fresh flowers. Even Mrs Hudson wrote a card for you. Bless her. She still seems to be in denial over the whole situation. I went back to Baker Street with her. Just to make sure that she was okay. We had tea and she told my about how she first met you and how you helped her out with her husband. I went up to your flat. It was hauntingly quiet. Everything was the way that you left it, collecting dust. I thought I heard the sound of you playing your violin, but of course you weren't; you're not here._

_I am glad you liked your Christmas present. John gave me the idea of the present when you both came to St. Bart's and you were too busy deducting the new pathologist. Of course when I told the jeweller who the watch was for she practically fell over trying to get it ready as soon as possible. She said that I won't have to worry about payment; she says it a token of appreciation for what you did for her. Christmas was very strange. Of course no one wanted to have our normal get together at Baker Street without you, it just didn't feel right. I did end up spending Christmas with my mother which was horrid. She kept insisting that I had to find myself a husband soon otherwise I am going to be an old woman living with 27 cats. So clearly there was no absent of insult. Your mother and father popped by St. Bart's after the New Year. They came to see how I was doing and to thank me once again for helping you fake your death. They are ever so lovely; I don't understand why you never talked about them much before. Your mother said that she has been very worried about you and she wishes to hear from you soon._

_Is there any chance that you can stop by London for a brief visit? Just so I can see you, just so that I can confirm that the letter wasn't a figment of my imagination. My mind often wonders to those blissful months that we shared together before you left to take down the web. There have been many times that I have felt your presents in my flat, either doing your daft experiments in my kitchens, you shouting at Jeremy Kyle on the TV or the warmth of your closeness in my bed as I slept. I have tried to date other people this past year. But they have never gone past the third date. I try to convince myself that there is nothing wrong with them, but there is. There not you. They are not as brilliant, intelligent and handsome as you are. None of them compare to you. It's quite painful actually. My mind has accepted the idea of not being with you again. But this stupid heart of mine won't. _

_I hope you stay safe, Sherlock. Promise to write back and write to your mother, ease her mind. _

_I miss you,_

_Molly. _


	3. January 28th 2014

_January 28__th__ 2014_

_Molly, _

_The past couple of days have been dreadful but the feeling of nearly taking down the whole Moriarty's web is making the pain worth it. It was nice to wake up to the delivery of your letter yesterday morning. Did you spray the letter with your perfume Miss Hooper? I found myself smelling your luxurious scent as I unfolded the piece of paper. It was nice to smell something that reminded me of home and wasn't the smell of blood and sweat. I am sorry about the way that Mycroft is being with you. As you probably know my brother isn't the most pleasant person on the world and I promise I will have words with him about him being a dick. I am also glad that you have seen my mother and father. I have enclosed another letter that I would wish for you to deliver for my mother as soon as you receive yours. It is not as detailed as the letters that I will be sending you but it will surely ease her mind and stop her from worrying about me. _

_I am glad that John is going well. I am glad that he has moved on from me. Wait, no. I don't mean it like that. I mean I am glad that he is not grieving any more and he is getting on with his life. Did he say anything else about Mary? I know I probably sound slightly jealous about John's possible new companionship but I am not. I am just slightly curious. I am always curious when it comes to my friends relationships. Especially in case they might turn out to be a consulting criminal whose willing to destroy the lives of everyone I care about. Sorry about that. I never thought the Jim from IT would turn out to be my arch-enemy. _

_I could talk to Mycroft about coming back to London for a visit. He would probably allow it with 85% of Moriarty's web has been destroyed in just under a year and a half. But I feel that if I do come back to London before the task is complete, I wouldn't be able to send myself back. I would want to stay there, in London, with you. If I do come back to London, I would be risking everything that we have managed to achieve in Europe and I could be putting everyone in danger once again. And I feel that if I come back to London, you won't be able to let me go like you did last time. But once the task ahead is done I could come back as soon as I can. I could reveal myself to John, although he wouldn't take it lightly at all, I could move back into Baker Street and go back to working as a consulting detective. I could be with you. But even when I destroy the whole of the web I don't think I will be able to come back to London at all. Re-reading this passage it makes me realise that I may have got your hopes up which I apologize for. _

_How is work? I imagine it's a lot easier without me there. Could you tell me about all the bodies you have autopsied? I know that sounds silly but I need something to entertain me when I'm travelling. I bet that the other pathologist at St. Bart's are glad that I am not around any more taking body parts and using the labs._

_I am sorry for the shortness of this letter but the lack of sleep is catching up on me and I can feel my eyes betraying me as I write more and more. Please continue keeping an eye on John for me please and please keep me updated about how you are all doing. _

_I miss you too _

_Sherlock. _


End file.
